Vodka Christmas Cake:
- 1 bottle of vodka
- 1 cup of water
- 1 teaspoon baking powder
- 1 cup of sugar
- 1 teaspoon salt
- 1 cup of light brown sugar
- squirt of lemon juice
- 4 large eggs
- handful of varied nuts
- 2 cups of dried fruit
- Sample the vodka to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the vodka again. To be sure it is the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink.
- Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point it's best to make sure the vodka is still OK.
- Try another cup (just in case!). Turn off the mixer. Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit. Pick fruit off floor. Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaters pry it loose with a screwdriver. Sample the vodka to check for tonsisticity.
- Next, sift two cups of salt. Or something. Who cares? Check the vodka.
- Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or somethink. Whatever you can find.
- Grease the oven. Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over. Don't forget to beat off the turner.
- Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the vodka. Fall into bed.